Hello it’s eileen!

Before I get into whats been going on I would like to tell anyone that I will be at St. Josephs hospital Sept. 18th from 9am till ? I will be at the hospitals 100th anniversary and it is a very special place for me. New Dawn the rehab I went to is there on the 6th floor and I have been asked to come and do a book signing and I was so excited that  they asked me. That is where I was given the chance to live or die. I had spent weeks in detox prior to my admittance in new dawn and I was shocked I had never heard of rehab or knew anything about what happens there but I soon found out. That was twenty years ago. The people there the counselors the floor nurse who i just saw recently she was awesome and my fellow patients who became friends of mine something that I had not experienced too much prior to my stay there. I remember everyone it is impossible to forget any of that time in my life and all those people helped save my life and I  get  such a great feeling everytime I think about going there again. So if you would like to attend  you need to call new dawn and register there will also be another speaker at 10 am  Tom Paul.  Also I happily received a invite to Barnes and Noble in Horseheads  New York to be part of  a local authors book signing Oct 11th  and they will then start selling my book. That was very exciting news also.

Well there is never a dull moment in our lives. The twins are three and a half months old and cute as hell But boy are they a lot of work. I am over to missy’s house every day helping her there is so much to do. The new news is she is PREGNANT AGAIN> Eight weeks along and she is in shock. We have known now for about five days and I am excited. She has a lot of support myself , my husband and sara her sister. My husband just went through getting off pain medication by taking suboxene and he is like a different person and I am so happy. Addiction runs our lives every time I turn around it is there staring me in the face in some shape  or form. I would love to hear from other people who live with this demon. Please share your thoughts and experiences with me and others we all need to hear it.  Thanks   Eileen

Hi  I had the wonderful oppurtunity to spend a day signing books with another author from this area. His name Andrew Seubert. He just had his book come out “The Courage To Feel” it’s a wonderful book and for me it pointed out how we think about our feelings and feel our feelings and for me what I had was one of those Ah! Ah! moments where I realized I been doing a lot more thinking than feeling. Of course this is not all the book has to say it has many things to say and I reccomend it to everyone. It is marvelous. Well as can imagine I have been self analyzing myself ever since I started reading this book sometimes that can get dangerrous for me so I have to let up and things flow for a while.  Now for the rest of my life things  have been crazy as usual. I do want to say thank you to sherry for that nice note she wrote about my family I was very flattered and those were very nice things you  said. The twins are getting so big and cuter every day. I see them almost every day except for the last couple of days I have been sick as usual it seems I am getting sick all the time anymore ane it is getting me very frustrated. My younger daughter sara was here today and I was in bed sick again. I feel lke everytime she comes I am sick. Between my immune system and my memory I almost feel like laughing at myself. I forget everything and loose everything. I spend the majority of my time looking for everything I own or trying to remember who I am supposed to call or email or what I have to do as far as my book goes.  My husband just went through a hard time lately . He has problems with his legs from being on them all the time he has owned our restaurant we have now for  15 years and it has taken a toll on him. He had been on some pain medication he didn’t like and  wanted off of it but he had to be monitored off it so that made for a tense environment for a while. I feel like addiction comes up in our family a lot of course he didn’t feel he was addicted because he was prescribed them by Dr. but I know that whole story. Anyway its over hes off of them and he is much better.  I am going to say goodnight for now. I have pages of resources for facts, help and education of addiction and I will be putting them up this week  Than you for your patience.   Eileen Declemente

Hi everyone it has been a while since anyone has visited me and been a while since I have visited me. I wonder what that is all about? Could it be me? I wonder that sometimes. Alot of what I like to talk about is sometimes threating to people or it is just subjects that no on likes to talk about maybe.

My life has been crazy as usual I did a  book signing last weekend saturday and sunday and it was wonderful. One of the great people who bought my book and read it gave me a beautiful gift it is a little bear handmade into a gaurdian  angel bear and it is wonderful in fact I got a chain and am wearing it  around my neck. Ijust love it and things like that people do make me speechless and that is something new to me. I have gotten wonderful feedback regarding my book and how people have related to it and it feels so good because that was my whole intention. We are in  the process of getting photos of the twins on our family gallery those boys as well as my five yr old grandson are precious. So soon to come they will be.  I will be back soon. Eileen

I am pretty frustrated with life right now and the people in my life.Unfortuneately I am one of those who does not know how to say no especially to my famlily. It’s about time I realize it and do something. For a family who loves each other so much we are pretty quick to let the dysfunction run rapid when things get crazy. I seem to allow myself to be the punching bag and I am assuming that is because of the guilt I still carry around. During this time of learning to deal with my alzheimer’s by seeing a counselor and a good one at that I need to start learning to treat myself a little better and then the others will follow hopefully.  Thanks for letting me think outloud.   eileen

I am so pleased  with the way monkey c media has made my website so incredibly fantastic. My family photo page almost made me cry. Looking at my girls when they were little and in high school, college and now all grown up with families of their own.  The fact that they are so happy is the biggest gift of all for me right now. I had a bad weekend last week and I get scared that one of these times I will not come out of it and see my  family again but I try not to think about that it just gets a little hard when you loose time and those times get longer and longer. Well Jennifer Thompson you have made this wonderful for me I thank you so much.     love  Eileen

Okay I am back. been very busy with the twins my daughter is a little overwhelmed but soon I will be able to put some pictures on the site for you all to see. My youngest daughter and my editor and marketer have been giving me some lessons in using this computer and using it to sell my book. There is so much someone like me has to absorb and it is not easy but I am determined to get there. Soon we will have a resource page for everyone to go to so they can find information and places to go to for help. I would also like to start using this blog for discussions on any problems anyone is having dealing with all the many topics my book has brought up. Of course the first is Addiction then there is coping with a loved ones alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction I can really relate to that one too. There are addictions to food sex relationships. We deal with family relationships, sibling relationships and the bigee our significant other. We also deal with coping mechanisms what other ways can we deal with pain than a quick fix. The solutions are out there but we need each other to share our experience strength and hope to find those solutions we need each other. Please visit us. my daughters have great ideas and we have our issues we need to work on. This whole Alzheimer’s is getting difficult for me to cope with sometimes I feel like picking up just to get a temporary relief but only god knows what that would bring. Let’s help each other and learn from each other. I am going to work hard to get on this blog every day but I need you too. thanks eileen

Hi, I was going to different blogs and on one that I find very interesting there was a post by someone who had read my book that is so great to see that someone found what you have to say interesting, I wanted to help people in a way to educate them on addiction or to let them know they are not alone and their is hope. HOPE I love that word as much as I love being ALIVE. Thank you eileen

Hi,

It’s  Eileen. I have been attending more AA meetings lately because I need it but truth be known I always need it. I went to my home group meeting and  saw a friend I have known for 16 years and while I was very happy to see her I was also made aware of  once again how and what the disease of addiction does to us even after 16 yrs or 21 yrs of sobriety. It either kills us and if we are lucky enough to find help before that happens all the damage we did while we were using comes back to remind us of what a horrible disease this is. My friend is suffering from a chronic illness that is taking away her quality of life just as my alzheimer’s is doing to me. I barely recognized her at first and she was unstable to the point if you didn’t know better you would have sworn she was drunk, how many people does this disease have to cripple or kill before we get it. Listen  to me that is the anger I have at this disease. Would I have listened to anyone? Maybe the thing is no one told me back then what could happen it was the thing you did not talk about or even admit it was happening not by family members loved ones friends not anyone. It was all hush hush. That is why I wrote my book and exposed all the nasty rotten things I did to  myself my husband and worse of all my innocent children they didn’t ask to be born into that but they were and they suffered more than anyone. I see it in their faces today and they are now 30 and 28 because they were cursed with my disease. It effects everyone and it doesnt  stop for some of us the effects come back and once again I realize how lucky I am to have all I have. I don’t have a lot of money a big beautiful house or a brand new car, I work hard at everything I do and I don’t ever see that ending. To be honest sometimes we don’t have enough money to pay our bills  the economy  is getting worse and  that makes us  in the restaurant business depending on the rest of the world to put food on our table and a roof over our heads. The wonderful news is we do have a roof over our heads and most of all I have my husband and family who still love me unconditionally no matter what I have done. They have to stand back and watch the quality of my life be hindered evey day but even that is getting better and in our family if one of us is  hurting we all hurt but today we have too much to be grateful for so we concentrate on all that we are so lucky. This family is getting bigger, I have my  2 beautiful girls and their wonderful husbands who I see as my sons and now three awesome grandsons, Aiden 5, and twin boys carder and landon who are now two months old and they are all healthy. Thank you God for all you have given me.  Eileen

Hi everyone I am a little embarrased. All this time I have making comments on my website but I was not blogging, I thought I was. That is how ignorant I am to the computer but now I am learning and this is just the  begining. Clarissa thank you for commenting at my site and thank u for your comment. Well officially this is my first blog so you will be hearing from me regularily and I hope I hear from all of you. I definitely have a lot to say. bye for now  eileen